Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize