I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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