Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
