I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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