Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
