but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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