i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
