You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize