How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
no you cant smoke seaweed
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
