Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I checked into jail on foursquare
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
