Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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