Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
