GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
