its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
