so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
