He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
