You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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