i permit you to call me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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