can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize