at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
