glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
