so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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