I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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