i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
