He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
