Three words: puerto rican gang bang
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My vagina is officially offended.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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