She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
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