I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
