Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
