She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
