Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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