I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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