Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
