I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
