Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
