plz talk dirty to me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Randomize
