Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
