i think i have two assholes
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
