in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
