She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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