Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
