This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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