I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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