He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
