...so i touched it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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