It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
