Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
