I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
In other news, I just burned my penis
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize