I hate your face
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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