it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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