i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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