Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
