i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
