I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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