i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
