I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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