I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
