I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
