MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
