I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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