dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize