Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
