Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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