If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
